Yeah, I don't like celery

I really don't. I've tried it tons of times tons of ways, and it always comes across as this strange peppery thing. Soup is the only way I've ever been able to tolerate it.


One of the problems with celery is that it is a key ingredient in most variations of chicken salad. I like chicken salad, and it's a staple at weddings and baby showers and all kinds of parties where they put it in fancy croissants. I like the idea of a smooth chicken salad, but once you put that celery in there, it's gone. And then some whackos put limp lettuce and onions and relish and walnuts and God knows what else and then it's ruined and I'm left to survive this 4 hour long wedding reception with nothing but raw carrots and cocktail weenies dripping in barbecue sauce. But I digress.


So this past Easter I was put through the same celery salad ordeal and decided to take matters into my own hands. It took about 10 minutes to make, but I had already cooked the chicken earlier today so that doesn't really count. All of the ingredients used were leftovers from our Easter party, but none of them are so out of the ordinary that you would have to go anywhere special to get them. These days, even Sriracha is carried by most major grocery chains. Also, as a special note: when cooking with chicken, wash down EVERYTHING with hot, soapy water. No one wants salmonella.


Spicy Chicken Salad
Prep/Cooking time: 15 minutes
Putting together time: 10 minutes


2 chicken tenders or 1 chicken breast, skinless/boneless
2 Tbsp mayo
1/2 tsp Sriracha chili sauce
1/4 cup walnuts
1/2 cup Mandarin oranges
1 handful fresh baby spinach
1 croissant, or 2 slices of your favorite bread


1. Cook the chicken. Mine was frozen, so I just popped it in the microwave to thaw, diced it, then cooked it in a skillet on medium heat with a bit of olive oil. It doesn't matter how you cook it, just make sure that you cook it thoroughly.


2. Let the chicken cool, then chop it as finely as you prefer. I left a few chunks, but for the most part my chicken was shredded.


3. Mix the mayo and Sriracha. IMPORTANT: make sure that the two are completely mixed. You don't want a drop of concentrated Sriracha anywhere. That would not be good.


4. Destroy the walnuts. I did this by placing them in a plastic bag and pounding them with a hammer into dust. This way, I got the nutty flavor without finding huge chunks of wood in my sandwich. I mean, really. Nuts are like chewing rocks.


5. Mix the chicken and the walnut dust with the Sriracha/mayo mixture.


6. Spoon the chicken salad onto the bread. Place Mandarin orange slices (if desired) on the mix. Top with baby spinach. The oranges provide a hint of sweetness to offset the heat of the Sriracha and the blandness of the mayo, while the spinach provides a nice bit of crispness.


7. EAT IT. It's really good, I promise. I ate my sandwich by itself, but I'm sure it would be nicely complemented by some kettle fried chips or more oranges or something.


All in all, this recipe is pretty simple. It doesn't take long, and it's incredibly satisfying. Plus, I'm sure it could hold its own against some cocktail weenies.


Please tell me what you like, don't like, or if you have any suggestions at all!